"For we will be wicked and we will be fair
And they'll call us such names, and we really won't care,
So go, tell your Wendys, your Susans, your Janes,
There's a place they can go if they're tired of chains,
And our roads may be golden, or broken, or lost,
But we'll walk on them willingly, knowing the cost --
We won't take our place on the shelves.
It's better to fly and it's better to die
Say the wicked girls saving ourselves."
-Seanan McGuire, author, artist, filk songwriter
A shy, wicked one with dark ringlets. Eyes that watch so closely. Ears awakened by the smallest sound. Fingers twitchy, always for something. Tongue, still silent. People come and go, picking up tarnished trinkets, examining bits of jewelry long absent of their luster. Then dropping each when the novelty wears off. Tink. Tink. Tink. Thunk. Tink. Tink. Tink. Thunk.
Eyes are always wandering in this shop, but never too far. Never far enough to see her. The shy, wicked one walking through the aisles twirling her twitchy fingers through the dusty tapestries.
Heavy things, they are. Moved perhaps, by the stale wind that comes through the door.
Wicked, but never, ever vicious.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
Real Life
One letter at a time.
One word at a time.
One sentence at a time.
One paragraph at a time.
One page at a time.
What letter do I start with?
What words will they make?
What will the sentence say?
Where will the paragraph take me?
What happens at the end of the page?
The letter might make me wince.
The words might make me curse.
The sentence might make me squirm.
The paragraph might make me pull out my hair.
The page might only make it worse.
But the letter is the beginning,
and the words link like chains.
The sentence tells a story,
the paragraph keeps on showing it
The page, then, makes me happy.
Imperfect as it is, it's mine.
Then I write the next letter,
One at a time.
One word at a time.
One sentence at a time.
One paragraph at a time.
One page at a time.
What letter do I start with?
What words will they make?
What will the sentence say?
Where will the paragraph take me?
What happens at the end of the page?
The letter might make me wince.
The words might make me curse.
The sentence might make me squirm.
The paragraph might make me pull out my hair.
The page might only make it worse.
But the letter is the beginning,
and the words link like chains.
The sentence tells a story,
the paragraph keeps on showing it
The page, then, makes me happy.
Imperfect as it is, it's mine.
Then I write the next letter,
One at a time.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
When We Were Wee
"There are no rules, and those are the rules."
A quote I pilfered from the Jim Henson's Fantastic World exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry. So sayeth Cantus Fraggle, and perfect for what I'm trying to accomplish with my writing and with my life.
This is the second time I've seen the Henson exhibit, having gone for my wedding anniversary in September, and I have to say that it is just as wonderful as it was the first time around. There is no substitute for seeing firsthand the construction of some of Henson's most complicated puppets, while learning about the evolution of the Muppets from The Frog Prince, to the Muppet Show, to Sesame Street to Fraggle Rock and the Dark Crystal. This was a man that consistently broke creative barriers without expecting any recognition or credit for it. He just took his ideas, and Made them work, even when the people around him told him it was impossible.
I do remember watching the Muppets as a young girl, hanging out in the basement with my older sister. We would sing the songs, act out scenes and rewind the videotapes over and over again. But, I didn't really appreciate the real impact of the Muppets on me until I hit college, during my first weeks as a freshman at Illinois State University. I missed my family, my friends, and my boyfriend Michael, whom I'd just started dating during March of my senior year in high school. I did not want to be there. And while the solitary part of my personality enjoyed the alone time in my dorm, the evenings and nights were tough going. I unpacked my stuff a little every night, and would come across hidden notes in my luggage from Michael, letting me know that everything was going to be OK. Well, a few nights into the unpacking I found videotapes. Every Muppet Movie. So I put one on and smiled. And then I chuckled. And then I laughed out loud. And then, before I knew it, I made it through my first year, and the next, and the next.
"There are no rules, and those are rules." Even when it comes to remedies for homesickness.
A quote I pilfered from the Jim Henson's Fantastic World exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry. So sayeth Cantus Fraggle, and perfect for what I'm trying to accomplish with my writing and with my life.
This is the second time I've seen the Henson exhibit, having gone for my wedding anniversary in September, and I have to say that it is just as wonderful as it was the first time around. There is no substitute for seeing firsthand the construction of some of Henson's most complicated puppets, while learning about the evolution of the Muppets from The Frog Prince, to the Muppet Show, to Sesame Street to Fraggle Rock and the Dark Crystal. This was a man that consistently broke creative barriers without expecting any recognition or credit for it. He just took his ideas, and Made them work, even when the people around him told him it was impossible.
I do remember watching the Muppets as a young girl, hanging out in the basement with my older sister. We would sing the songs, act out scenes and rewind the videotapes over and over again. But, I didn't really appreciate the real impact of the Muppets on me until I hit college, during my first weeks as a freshman at Illinois State University. I missed my family, my friends, and my boyfriend Michael, whom I'd just started dating during March of my senior year in high school. I did not want to be there. And while the solitary part of my personality enjoyed the alone time in my dorm, the evenings and nights were tough going. I unpacked my stuff a little every night, and would come across hidden notes in my luggage from Michael, letting me know that everything was going to be OK. Well, a few nights into the unpacking I found videotapes. Every Muppet Movie. So I put one on and smiled. And then I chuckled. And then I laughed out loud. And then, before I knew it, I made it through my first year, and the next, and the next.
"There are no rules, and those are rules." Even when it comes to remedies for homesickness.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Game On
Since I've just graduated with my master's, I'm in sore need of some direction regarding my personal health. This is a good place to start, I figure. Happy New Year and wish me luck.
Goals for the Year:
1. Be healthy. Mentally, physically, the whole deal.
2. Save more money.
3. Write with Discipline. Yes, that's a Capital D. I guess that's part of the 'mental health' resolution, but whatever. The major problem I have is self-censorship, and this very recent fear of making things permanent on paper. I really, really need to get over that.
So, game on, 2011.
Goals for the Year:
1. Be healthy. Mentally, physically, the whole deal.
2. Save more money.
3. Write with Discipline. Yes, that's a Capital D. I guess that's part of the 'mental health' resolution, but whatever. The major problem I have is self-censorship, and this very recent fear of making things permanent on paper. I really, really need to get over that.
So, game on, 2011.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
What would you do if you knew you would not fail?
Disclaimer: These writing prompts are borrowed from the blog Sunday Scribblings, a blog that specializes in getting the pen to paper, and the brain (more specifically in this case, MY brain), to moving. Bless these lovely ladies for providing just the thing I need. My plan is to work through the prompts as steadily as I can and have fun with it! Writing is work, but it isn't dull work. I feel like that should be an Anne Lamott quote or something. This 'creating stuff from the strength of my own brain' is hard work, dude. Anyway, here goes.
#1 What I Would Do If I Knew I Would Not Fail
I would fall. Probably face down, nose scraping on the concrete. Because, even though I might know that I'll come out victorious, I still have every right to screw up on my way getting there. Who knows? I might forget in that one embarrassing moment, the certainty of my success. I might feel pain, and I might cry. Regardless of the outcome, I will still feel useless, stupid, and incompetent. I will still wish for a DeLorean-shaped time machine to make it all better.
But most of us work for something much bigger, much more powerful than fear, and that's why we keep going even though the ground is a scary place. We keep dreaming of cozy bookstores, Muppeteers, hot air balloons, and England in autumn, just to spite failure. Just to prove that it is a much less worthy opponent than most villains. To laugh boldly in its face and declare yourself its lord and master!
Sure it might be nice to forget failure, to slide through home plate every time. Then again, a charismatic hero is nothing without the unflappable, relentless foe. You know, the guy (girl) with the brown cloak (blue windbreaker) and the monacle (bifocaled reading glasses) and the blue leather boots (yellow suede pennyloafers)? Without that, you might as well go shove the Earth out of orbit and watch it crash into Mars while narrowly missing the moon.
#1 What I Would Do If I Knew I Would Not Fail
I would fall. Probably face down, nose scraping on the concrete. Because, even though I might know that I'll come out victorious, I still have every right to screw up on my way getting there. Who knows? I might forget in that one embarrassing moment, the certainty of my success. I might feel pain, and I might cry. Regardless of the outcome, I will still feel useless, stupid, and incompetent. I will still wish for a DeLorean-shaped time machine to make it all better.
But most of us work for something much bigger, much more powerful than fear, and that's why we keep going even though the ground is a scary place. We keep dreaming of cozy bookstores, Muppeteers, hot air balloons, and England in autumn, just to spite failure. Just to prove that it is a much less worthy opponent than most villains. To laugh boldly in its face and declare yourself its lord and master!
Sure it might be nice to forget failure, to slide through home plate every time. Then again, a charismatic hero is nothing without the unflappable, relentless foe. You know, the guy (girl) with the brown cloak (blue windbreaker) and the monacle (bifocaled reading glasses) and the blue leather boots (yellow suede pennyloafers)? Without that, you might as well go shove the Earth out of orbit and watch it crash into Mars while narrowly missing the moon.
Friday, May 21, 2010
A Start - An Unedited List of Things I Love
The Renaissance Faire
New/Used books
The Library
Muppets
Warm Bread
Italian Food
Secret Gardens
The Smell of Paper
Disney World
Pop Music
Sneakers
Chocolate
Morning at the Campsite
Finishing Homework Assignments
Payton’s laugh
Michael’s eyes
Soundtracks
Old, Victorian Houses
Maps
Swimming Pools
Oceans and Lakes
The Museum of Science and Industry
Babbity Rabbitty
Spaghetti Sauce
Teaching
J.K Rowling
Beach Towels
Characters with character
Crayons
Sword fighting
Theatre
Neil Gaiman
A New Haircut
Babies
Road Trips
Antique Furniture
Organization
Ice Cream
Fantasy Novels
A Clean House
The Comic Con
Gluten Free Baking
Fairies
Merlin
Sand
Basil
Parsley
Mister Rogers
Forests
Golf carts
Daisies
T-shirts
Christmastime
Chicago in the summer
Audiobooks
98.7 WFMT
The Travel Channel
BBC America
Chunky Sunglasses
Sunlight through big windows
Turrets
Fred and George Weasley
Jace Morgenstern
The Princess Bride
The Perfect Gift
The Electric Mayhem
Basin
Candles
Tea
Old Neighborhoods
St. Donatus
Campers
Halloween Decorations
Black-rimmed Glasses
Legos
Scrapbooks
Good book to movie adaptations
The Pigeon
Constellations
Dried Sweet Peppers
A New Notebook
Calendars
Indie Bookstores
Period Costumes
Hammocks
Top Gear
Shakespeare
The Curb Pizza
The View from the California Grill
Picture Books
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Make No Little Plans Or Should I?
This is what has been missing in my life for the past few months.
I finished student teaching about a week and a half ago, and am only now coming back to life after a nasty post-semester illness. It's pretty typical, as I've always tended to get sick just after finishing a major undertaking. My body just says "Ok, I'm done!" for a few days, and then I'm left to get back on my feet.
Anyway, what matters is that I am here, and I intend to use this space for jump starting my writing. Here is my main problem with this. I have little to no discipline in this area. I want to write ALL the time, but often there are other things that take precedence over it. School, work, and all the other things that insist on my time. Some of these are good like spending time with the husband, family and friends. Others are ugly and adult-shaped.
And, I miss feeling that have something in my brain worth saying. I fill my mind with all of these fantastic ideas and literature daily, but I can't seem to come up with anything original myself. Maybe the problem is that I'm thinking too big, too broad. Maybe I should start small. One foot in front of the other, as they say.
I have to admit I'm a little ashamed of myself for letting writing go so far to the wayside during the pursuit of my teaching degree. Well, it is a lesson learned that I have to continue it no matter how busy life gets.
I have to be dedicated to this creative part of myself or I might lose it completely in the fray. This time, luckily, I've just misplaced it for a bit, and I think I have a pretty good chance of coming back to life. Not to mention, I look forward to bringing this part of myself into the classroom with me when I do have the opportunity to teach my own students.
I have to hold onto this part of myself, because no one is going to do it for me. I have to hold on to it, and make little plans for it, so I can learn who I am here too.
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